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The Other Side of WonderlandWatch the way the words flow,
Dark colors spilling from my pen.
Molding a new existence,
One very few could live within.
Don't venture in too deeply,
Nothing is as it seems.
Sick twisted creatures thrive here,
This place that haunts my dreams.
Poisoned are the pretty things,
Sweetness, an evil foe.
My muse is dark and nasty,
Only seeds of evil grow.
Wonderland needs a rainbow,
My pen needs colored ink.
I try to capture beauty,
Yet, my words all fade and shrink.
The Choice Is MineTime is passing slowly,
I really miss your voice.
Wasted days spent in the dark,
Living is my choice.
Your love is not required,
Though I'd love to be your wife.
My heart may be broken,
But, for me, I'm choosing life.
StrongI've grown to hate the word.
The entire concept of the meaning.
STOP calling me that!
You have no idea how weak I am.
Just because I hide it from you,
Bottle it all up inside-
IT DOESN'T MAKE ME STRONG!
It makes me weaker!
Why can't you see that?
I am NOTHING on my own.
I know I know-
I've heard it ALL before.
"If you weren't strong you wouldn't have made it this far"
Well, let me tell you something;
I've made it this far because I had someone to lean on.
I had someone to carry me when I collapsed-
But you never saw those collapses.
Only my hero got to see.
Got to know a small part of the real me.
You see this huge solid wall of strength-
That's my fault.
That's my disguise.
I'm trying to open up-
Why can't you see??
Look at this wall from MY perspective.
Can't you see it's about to crumble?
Can't you see I'M ABOUT TO CRUMBLE?!
I AM NOT STRONG!
Just stop. Go away. Leave me alone like everyone does.
I'll show you how strong I am.
When this wall crumbles it will end me.
Hope Is Hidden In The Smoke..From a burning cigarette
In the hand of a liar.
Choking me as it builds,
Then disappearing in the arms of a gentle breeze.
From a burning picture
Of a love I'll never forget.
Stinging my eyes
As your twisted smile warps and melts away.
From a burning home
That we never really had.
Replacing my oxygen
As it infiltrates our nonexistent children's rooms.
From my burning flesh
That knows I deserve this.
Screaming at me not to stop
Until I can no longer feel the fire of love.
My hope is smoke.
Pretty to look at,
Yet, there's nothing to hold onto.
I'll set fire to the world,
I'll burn everything I've ever loved,
But no amount of hope can change the facts;
We are destined to fail.
3. Light (aka Starlight)Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
I see your light shine from afar.
If I could catch it in a jar,
I'd find out what your sparkles are.
Up above the world, so high,
Can you hear me when I sigh?
Do you see the tears I cry,
Am I wishing on an empty sky?
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
Take bad dreams and cast them far.
Star light, star bright,
I wish on you this fateful night.
I can't escape, I can't take flight,
I'll close my eyes when you're out of sight.
Wish I may, wish I might,
In the darkness, you're my knight.
Though you live at such great height,
Your twinkle brings me much delight.
Star light, star bright,
When you're gone, I'll say g'nite.
According To You..According to the world,
I'm incredibly blessed.
Young and Free,
I have no reason to be depressed.
So, my darkness is hidden,
I pretend that I'm not falling.
Keeping up appearances,
Who, for help, should I be calling?
According to my friends,
They'll always be there.
My extended family,
My loving "sisters" always care.
Now, I'm alone in this room,
They don't hear my cry.
They shun me for each other,
Just two more people who lie.
According to my love,
We'll make it through.
The lying is over,
Her words are all true.
Yet, I'm still terrified,
I've forgotten how to trust.
My heart is a broken thing,
Being devoured by rust.
According to my family,
They all saw it coming.
Long-distance is hard,
I'm neither pretty nor stunning.
Now, I look stupid,
Ignored was their warning.
I told you so is my nightmare,
Even in sleep, I am mourning.
According to everyone,
Love of my razor is a sin.
It's not worth it,
I shouldn't long for it against my skin.
Now, there's no more cutting,
Tribute to pain still
My DemonI think I have a demon,
Just a bitch, I am her pet.
She strokes me very often,
Misery is her net.
Her eyes are dark and empty,
Sometimes, I think they're blue.
Master keeps me lonely,
On my skin, she likes to chew.
I see her when the night falls,
She curls up in my bed.
My mind is but her playground,
My diet is soured dread.
Her skin is pale and smooth,
Razor teeth, sharpened to a point.
I dare not disobey her,
There's no Holy water to anoint.
I could run away somehow,
Yet, who would love me then?
Master is my lover,
She basks in my filthy sin.
Into The OceanYou’re perfection in a single glance
And everyone’s to busy taking pictures
To explore reality, but when the tide goes
Everyone will see the trash and dead things
And wonder where they came from.
You’re just like the ocean.
And now I’m drowning in your indifference
With waves relentlessly crashing
Over my head, pulling me under,
Tossing me around,
Dragging me down.
Well, I always was lost in you.
My mouth opens to tell you so
But, as your poison fills my throat,
I think my chest might explode
And I might welcome it
If only it puts out the fire
That’s blazing in my lungs.
Didn’t I tell you that you take my breath away?
No longer can I tell where you end and I begin,
Or if I even exist,
And I hear you laughing because
I always wished to be part of you,
So that you could never push me away
Without losing yourself.
Now I’m the one who has no self to find.
CryCry for the living,
Shed a tear for the dead.
Cry for the words that are left unsaid.
Cry for the children,
They'll grow up so fast.
Cry because their innocence won't last.
Cry for your soul,
It's darkened with sin.
Cry because life's a game you'll never win.
Cry for the elderly,
Their bodies are weak.
Cry because death is what we all seek.
Cry for the lovers,
Even the ones with a ring.
Cry because love always goes with a sting.
Cry for the future,
Shed a tear for the past.
Smile because life can't forever last.
Right NowI remember how it all started
It was a quiet December day like today
That turn into something that I never would expected
But it feels bittersweet knowing it's gone
Or feels like how a child is lost in the big world out there
Just an empty feeling
People say love is a drug
From the start to finish
A high that everything is perfect or nothing can go wrong
But when it is gone, you feel the withdraw symptoms that won't go away
But no I'm just taking it in
Out the window of my apartment bedroom again
Tomorrow I'll be gone I don't know when I'll be back
But in this world everything can change just like that
Caught up in everyday life
Doesn't seem like nobody cares
Walking out seems like the only option
No one will miss me right?
Find myself somewhere else because home ain't what it used to be
Mom and Dad were fighting about everything
From dishes to who is looking after the child I had
I didn't know what to do
But no I'm taking it in
Out the window of my apartment bedroom again
The T.V is o
To Fly in FireSinking deeper in a sea of nothing,
With night’s darkness as my dawn.
Questions requiring no answers,
And satisfaction found in the wrong.
Tears shed not like the inkwell,
Far overused by this rotting quill.
Is this the seed of strength and vigor,
Or closing distance with my rancor?
I hear the still damp match ignited,
Rekindling my flame of envy.
The drowned piece of wood below,
Was kept remembered after all.
So the wind I soared these wings with,
Were nothing but mere, fake glimpses.
What unkindly surrenders to the glutton,
That keeps me earth-bound along with it.
Flashes of fears of weakly faltering,
Dread my dreams with eyes unclosed.
But this tattered soul knows too well,
The day’s yet to exist when I can let go.
i am the bird with the broken wingAnd this is how the story goes
There is no high in these winter lows
The love that left me has faded away
My tears blur the night into day
For I am the bird with the broken wings
Who has fallen behind the flock,
Now I have fallen by the way side.
With no one to pick me up.
The love that left me died in my arms,
Now things are all messed up.
I am floating beneath the water,
But I cannot get back up.
The silence floats around me,
Where there used to be your voice.
I reach out in the dark,
Hoping for your touch.
All there is, is empty sheets,
A reminder of my loss.
I shudder at what my life has become,
Fragments of glass spread around the floor,
I cut myself trying to pick the pieces up.
But this is how my story goes,
There was no high in my winter lows.
The love I lost hurt too much,
Now there is no night, there is no day.
Broken Hearts Still BeatingThe lightning-spliced sky illuminates my bedroom
and I'm crouched in the corner, embraced by the dark,
thinking of how there could have been a chance
for me to wake up next to you, your emerald eyes
webbed with emotion, your body limp
from jerking in your sleep. I imagine ruffled sheets,
broken lamps, and permeating heat.
I think of how we could have jogged together
along roadsides and doubled over with thorns
in our ribs at your feeble attempts to whistle Dixie.
I'm collapsing inward, reminiscing on the truths
I should have told you and how every boy I pass
has your face, your dark brown hair, your lips.
And I cry. Oh, do I cry.
I saw you hunched over one day, exhausted
from nightmares, sipping Gatorade and reciting
poetry about there being beauty in decay,
and I couldn't help but think that you
were living proof of that phenomenon.
I wanted to cry for you and tell you about that time
a lady ran into me at Barnes & Noble and I'd had
no earthly idea that I was alive until she turned ar
Bend to EndThere's a small crack
On the surface of my heart
And each word you utter
Forces it apart.
You're supposed to mend it
And pull it back together
But all you've ever done is
Make sure it stays forever.
And as I lay here
Listening to you shout
My heart starts to bleed
As streams of tears break out.
As my heart bleeds out
My life takes another bend
And with one last breath
I beg for it all to end.
The Melody of a Love SongThe way you move me,
Like the melody of a love song,
Stuck on replay.
“Fly away with me”,
Said the lyrics.
As you warm my hand with yours.
As your voice draws to a whisper,
The sweet beat slows.
Chills and goosebumps overflow my body.
And when we kiss,
The melody silences.
But only for a moment.
Now I can hear your heart pound,
Raging to it’s own beat.
Your own love song.
Quietly, GentlyShy smiles and fluttering butterflies,
My heart would beat faster when I looked into your eyes.
Even then, as I held you warmly in my arms,
Every word you said put me under your charm.
Dozing off, I sent you a little smile.
And told you that it’s fine to fall asleep for a while.
When you awoke, the sun was setting for its own time to sleep.
So I pulled you close and breathed in so deep.
Quietly, in the dark, I slowly fell in love.
Gently in my arms, I called you my little dove.
learning to hear the unspokeni hear your pencil
drag atop the paper
and subtle breaths drawn.
i wonder, as i
let my mind wander
down winding paths
and through lonely fields.
trees are barren.
the frost nips at your heels
when you walk too slow.
every release from my
looks like smoke.
i hesitate to speak,
afraid the words will waft away
never reaching the crook of your neck
where i want them to nest.
"i love you," is all i can muster -
never feeling it weighs enough.
i imagine a tongue
i pretend that my heart
is full of profound
unheard by angel,
my head is wrapped
in thick fog;
though, i fancy it with feathers
through a bright, moonlit summer's eve.
it's clear amongst cloudless skies.
here we travel freely, unafraid,
our souls speak.
no words will ever be enough.
InconclusiveAnd you were twisted with the potential of a goldmine
You were ink black and addled and you had your
fingerprints stained into tiffany vases and prodigality
And I forged all my sympathies, signed strictly apathetic
While you were in the guise of composites and bleached knuckles
Aphorisms never meant as much to paradigms or gritted teeth
but I digress; I crafted men out of plate tectonics
Ninety degrees from your contempt and
At the rinds you will find plaster and
thirty molecules of carbon and
Don't you ever want to be the one to split the world in two?
You reassure me that your only certainties are relevance and Catch-22s and
You bled sulfur through your fingertips and your laughter was like
mile-long shadows and nonexistence.
SummerNights spent on the swing set,
Wishing on the stars.
Lying in the road,
Screaming at strange cars.
Truck beds full of laughter,
Basking in the sun.
Playing games with flowers,
Innocent, childish fun.
Dancing with the raindrops,
Swimming in the creek.
Songs sung from the rooftop,
Hours of hide and seek.
Monster drinks and Hershey bars,
Games of tag until the dawn.
Dreaming of the future,
Remembering moments gone.
Seasons come and seasons go,
Present time becomes the past.
No matter how I wished it so,
Summer could not last.
You Were Not An Aquarium BoySea-glass became your bones,
brine your blood, and seashells
melded into your skin.
You were not quite an ocean
when you said "This is your sign to love me."
My body was like a building;
tall, cold, almost unbreakable.
I was metallic and sharp,
towering over your waters.
I remember taking your hand in mine,
conch and coral shells scrubbing
my skyscraper wrists, and laughing
about how one day you would
submerge every last bit of me.
Your lips, riddled with argonauts,
found my cheek and I cringed
at the coarseness.
You asked if they bothered me
and I finally told you "I
think I love you."
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More